Welcome to the big leagues, kid.

On the Agenda:

1. Closer Chaos
2. Various News and Notes
3. Quick Hits
4. Streaming Pitchers

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Wake up, bro!

Carter Jensen spoke to the media about the situation.

“I don’t really have an excuse, nor should I” pic.twitter.com/pqq7DA8qEf https://t.co/fmuQlAAoEA

— Talkin' Baseball (@TalkinBaseball_) April 3, 2026

On the Agenda:

1. Closer Chaos
2. Various News and Notes
3. Streaming Pitchers

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This ball cares not about Kauffman’s outfield fences moving in.

Jonathan India belts a GRAND SLAM ‼️ pic.twitter.com/sFM2hoT8my

— MLB (@MLB) April 2, 2026

On the Agenda:

1. Closer Chaos
2. Quick Hits
3. Various News and Notes
4. Streaming Pitchers

Closer Chaos

Bryan Abreu SZN is back! (did it ever go away?)

Josh Hader’s placeholder in Houston was almost in need of a placeholder himself after a rough weekend — four earned runs in two appearances (1.1 innings) and a notable velocity dip, from 97 mph in 2025 to 93.2 mph on Sunday. He closed out Wednesday’s tilt by punching out three Red Sox, though he first allowed a pinch-hit homer to future Hall-of-Famer, Roman Anthony. Most importantly, Abreu’s fastball velocity averaged 96.

Up the leverage tree we go!

Jonathan Loáisiga locked down the victory for Zac Gallen and his new squad — no strikeouts and two hits allowed — not pretty, but he got the job done. Loáisiga earned the opportunity because new (old) closer Paul Sewald had pitched three of the last four days. He and Ryan Thompson are the primary setup men for Sewald with Kevin Ginkel shoved down the leverage tree due to his struggles. Meanwhile, A.J. Puk has been throwing multiple bullpen sessions as he works his way back from Tommy John surgery. Puk is expected to return around June.

The chaos continues in the Rays bullpen as Griffin Jax allowed five runs (three earned) on three hits and a walk without getting a batter out. He has a 22.50 ERA in four appearances. Something is definitely wrong because he’s been a top five setup man since 2023. This technically isn’t closer chaos since Jax hasn’t been utilized in save situations. Roster Resource currently lists Bryan Baker as the team’s closer.

Quick Hits

Carlos Estévez was placed on the injured list with a foot injury. Lucas Erceg snagged his second save of the season on Wednesday and is about to run away with the job. “Toto, there’s no closer chaos in Kansas anymore!”

Carlos Rodón draft stashers like yours truly were frightened by a report on Tuesday that he felt tightness in his right hamstring. Rodón threw on flat ground and on the mound Wednesday, though he must still visit with team doctors to gauge the severity of this issue. We should know by the weekend if he is still on track to return in April or if this new injury will delay him into May.

The Triston Casas Saga continues as he has now been shut down with a left intercostal strain. Guess there will be more Tumblr posts in store.

baseball is really back triston casas is posting like he’s on tumblr pic.twitter.com/5sPpdBAjBH

— big headass bong yoda (@gummysalamander) March 26, 2026

Various News and Notes

Garrett Crochet was not happy with his performance.

That’s the kind of attitude you want from your ace. Got to respect the high standards. Yusei Kikuchi would call an outing of 4 ER on 6 H with 7 K an no walks a good day at the office.

Shea Langeliers is off to the races in his quest to wipe Cal Raleigh off the record books. This was his fifth homer in six games.

Justin Crawford walked it off for the Phillies — his third single of the game.

I would like to officially be the first one to share a fact that on one else knows — Justin is Carl Crawford’s son!!! <mutes comments section>

Streaming Pitchers

Pitcher for Today: David Peterson (LHP, New York Mets)

Peterson is always at risk of hurting our WHIP, but this is a good matchup against a Giants offense that can be neutralized by the veteran lefty. The key will be getting around Willy Adames. The current Giants roster has no home runs in 88 lifetime plate appearances against Peterson.

Other Options: None

With Blue Jays-White Sox postponed, there are only three games. The only sub-50% rostered pitcher on Yahoo on the slate besides Peterson is Taj Bradley and I do not recommend starting him in Kauffman against Kyle Isbel and company.

Pitcher for Tomorrow: Reid Detmers (LHP, Los Angeles Angels)

The Angels will be underdogs and the game won’t be played in that lovely pitchers’ haven in Seattle, but Detmers can carry momentum from his last start into this one. The Mariners most locked in hitters are lefties (Brendan Donovan, Luke Raley, Dominic Canzone) and righty Julio Rodríguez is going through it right now.

Other Options: Joe Boyle (RHP, Tampa Bay Rays)

This was not an April Fool’s Day prank:

CB Bucknor strikes again, this time saying the runner did not touch first base. He very clearly did pic.twitter.com/zn6k9RtLXl

— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) April 1, 2026

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Me getting ready for April Fools Day:

dawg LOL https://t.co/JAvVraWNqF pic.twitter.com/z9DvyIZu1G

— jack (@Jolly_Olive) March 31, 2026

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Diving into the work week like:

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It feels like everyone played extra innings Saturday, but Dominic Smith had no interest in that.

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And that is how you celebrate after hanging an American League Championship banner.

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Let’s get this party started!

Sorry, Oneil, you’re not invited.

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It’s time to start juggling lineups for the next 26.5 weeks!

Max Fried hurled 6.1 scoreless, two-hit innings in a 4-0 victory over the Giants. Every Yankee earned a hit, except for Aaron Judge, who went 0-5 with four strikeouts. Logan Webb punched out seven batters, but decimated the ratios of one fantasy manager in every league with six earned runs allowed over five innings. We get baseball on the television for most of the day, with 11 games on this official Opening Day.

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