Welcome back to the internet’s premier home for breaking down any and all minutiae from a 2006 Matthew McConaughey vehicle that inexplicably co-starred a naked Terry Bradshaw. Jay Kay, let’s talk about baseball dongs instead. Or rather, the lack of them.

Last time out, we looked at three players that have started 2022 out with a fizzle but had some underlying metrics that point to better times ahead. In case you missed it, we’re splitting 2022 into two periods – the first month of the season (up until May 8), as well as the time since (stats through June 15th). Besides looking at the raw HR per PA rates, we’ll also use percentile rankings to better capture how players compare to their peers, as to see better into the relative changes without being dragged down too much by the new offensive environment (new ball, humidors, etc). Read the rest of this entry »

The runs have been raining down as of late, at least relative to the spongeball square offenses that we’ve had to suffer through during the first part of the season. Whether this is due to the increasing temperatures decreasing the overall effects that league-wide humidors have wrought, or to MLB more nefariously (definitely not) switching out the baseballs, doesn’t matter as much.

What does matter is that these dongs of summer are finally giving fantasy managers a respite in their offensive categories. With that in mind, let’s take some different looks at the so-called power hitters that have hurt their drafters the most through the first third of the season, starting with the ones most likely to turn things around. Read the rest of this entry »

With the so-called “sticky-stuff” memo getting released almost exactly one year ago, it seems about time to take another peek at which pitchers have been spinning the ball less since the crackdown was announced and how much (if any) their stuff and/or results have been affected since. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m sure you’ve already heard that it’s hard to be a speed junkie because stolen bases are so passe. But some teams are still running and while I’d rather have a fast player than a slow one, when it comes to the stolen base game, a team’s intent can often be just as important as an individual’s actual speed. With that in mind, let’s look at some of the lesser-owned players on the teams that have attempted the most thefts so far in 2022 and see if we can stack the probabilities in our favor. Read the rest of this entry »

Much smarter folk than I have already covered just how much hitters are suffering in this new and not-improved 2022 run environment, so let’s focus on some positivity and take a look at which players have thus far seen significant power bumps in the early goings on. Read the rest of this entry »

As I sat and wandered the databases, the thoughts running through my head were the same being pondered by every other reasonable baseball fan. Is there a bookcase in Rob Manfred’s office that if you pull on the correct book will spin around to reveal a panel of giant levers that controls which baseballs are currently being used? And if so, will “waterlogged” stay pulled, or could it be flipped to “happy fun ball” at any given moment? If that’s the case, we might as well prepare by looking at the pitches getting the most air so far in 2022. Read the rest of this entry »

Nestor Cortes announced himself to much of the baseball fandom last week, striking out 12 Orioles over five shutout innings while allowing just three hits and walking one in an eventual no-decision. But Baltimore, all the haters cried. Everyone knows you only get 50% credit for games against the O’s! Read the rest of this entry »

If a lifetime of watching baseball has taught me anything, it’s that you only need about a week to predict how the rest of the season will go. It’s science. Read the rest of this entry »

Ahh, an April tradition like no other. With real baseball just scant hours away, it’s time to fulfill the obligation that every good tout must provide for our loyal constituency.

Let’s get weird.

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It might be a little late but the dark days are almost over, as the love of our sporting life will soon be here again. And with it, the song in my heart can no longer be contained. Read the rest of this entry »