Today’s Roto Riteup is being offered as a gift to the noble readership, in hopes for a return of their love and praise.

On today’s agenda:
1. C.C. Sabathia to be evaluated today
2. SHOCKING: Carlos Quentin is hurt again
3. John Danks is pretty much done
4. Marcus Stroman gets the boot
5. The Fandango Four

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Today’s Roto Riteup comes to you uncut and unrated.

On today’s agenda:
1. Garrett Richards is pretty awesome
2. Martin Perez has elbow trouble, needs DL stint
3. Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez rehabbing
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
5. The Flimsy Five

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Here’s to hoping that you, the warm-blooded Roto Riteup reader, have a better ability to stay cool in 75-degree temperatures than this fair-skinned Dutchman.

On today’s agenda:
1. Jose Fernandez needs Tommy John
2. Big Boppers back from DL
3. Kevin Gausman to start today
4. Omar Infante finally goes to DL
5. The Frisky Five

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Today marks the start of the NFL Draft, so I won’t be offended if you ignore the Roto Riteup in favor of last minute mock drafts.

On today’s agenda:
1. On Matt Wieters’ elbow
2. Chase Anderson likely to start Sunday
3. Scott Baker gets the call
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
5. The Friendly Five

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It’s Wednesday, I’m tired, so let’s just get to the Roto Riteup, shall we?

On today’s agenda:
1. Clayton Kershaw returns
2. Gavin Floyd Debuts
3. Tyler Lyons shines
4. Erasmo Ramirez to start today
5. The Farmer’s Five

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Hey now, it’s Monday. Roto Riteup readers should enjoy this YouTube video if they’d like to perk themselves up with a laugh, and don’t worry, it’s safe for work.

On today’s agenda:
1. Yusmeiro Petit to start today
2. Wilson Ramos to return this weekend
3. Jimmy Rollins’ bounceback year?
4. Mariners rid themselves of Abraham Almonte
5. The Fruitful Five

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Happy May Day, Roto Riteup readers, whatever that’s worth.

On today’s agenda:
1. Nathan Eovaldi strikes again
2. Felix Hernandez moved back
3. Matt Garza’s boo-boo
4. Alex Cobb throws
5. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
6. The Fab Five

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The present Roto Riteup author made an appearance on the River Ave Blues podcast, which you should listen to if you like to hear me say disparaging things about people who make way more money than me.

On today’s agenda:
1. A.J. Griffin needs Tommy John surgery
2. Mike Minor back Friday
3. Archie Bradley to the DL
4. Manny Machado to be activated Tuesday
5. Tigers’ fans rejoice: Hector Noesi to start today
6. The Freaky Five

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Monday is the best day, Roto Riteup readers.

On today’s agenda:
1. Jose Abreu keeps breaking records
2. Kyle Seager busts out
3. Matt Harrison debuts
4. Danny Salazar makes me happy
5. The Furious Five

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Guess what day it is, Roto Riteup readers?! It’s two days after Earth Day, when I take an even bigger bag of paper and shove it into the garbage can to offset all the good everyone did because I don’t like change.

On today’s agenda:
1. Michael Pineda feels justice
2. Clayton Kershaw’s rehab scheduled
3. Fun with tons of arbitrary endpoints
4. The Fast Five

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