Ruby Knows What She is Doing (Guest Post)

I can’t believe it’s been over five years since my daughter stepped in and wrote this post. In a few days she graduates from high school so I’ll be taking the week off (no weekend waiver wire article or chat) to enjoy time with family. As much as we enjoy this stupid game, friends and family mean so much more to us. I’m so pround of Ruby and can’t wait to watch her walk across the stage this weekend. -JZ

Note: I promised my kid she could write one of my articles this summer and as the summer winds down, I’m keeping my promise. -JZ

How do people do this? Writing for like 3000 hours. Then you get all mad that it must be 400 words. And figure out what to write. Then it can’t be big or small it has to be perfect. Then your kids take up all the internet. Then you have to know what BB% and Avg. for the player and it just gets soooo confusing. Then your brother is eating DILL PICKLE sunflower seeds and they smell GROOOOOSSS. When he snaps it and he spits on you. Are we there yet with this article?? This is so boring how do get this to be fun. All you do is sit and write. Then you are all itchy because you mowed the day before and the bugs bit you. Do you know what a parents favorite time of the year is SCHOOL XD. I would rather be in an ac room on my phone than at school. My favorite part of school is leaving 😉 Your brother thinks he can do math but he can’t. Anyway back to baseball. My dad lied to me about Coleverson [Culberson] can’t hit a home run but he did. Anyway, I am done. 204 words.

Post originally ran on August 9th, 2018





Jeff, one of the authors of the fantasy baseball guide,The Process, writes for RotoGraphs, The Hardball Times, Rotowire, Baseball America, and BaseballHQ. He has been nominated for two SABR Analytics Research Award for Contemporary Analysis and won it in 2013 in tandem with Bill Petti. He has won four FSWA Awards including on for his Mining the News series. He's won Tout Wars three times, LABR twice, and got his first NFBC Main Event win in 2021. Follow him on Twitter @jeffwzimmerman.

16 Comments
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Manny RamirezMember since 2016
8 years ago

NOTGRAPHS LIVES!!!!!!

RobertMember since 2017
8 years ago

Ruby needs to be a weekly notgraphs writer. I hope she gets paid Jeff’s full price!

HappyFunBallMember since 2019
8 years ago

Dill pickle flavored sunflower seeds ARE pretty gross. This kid’s got a future!

Paul SporerFanGraphs Staff
8 years ago
Reply to  HappyFunBall

Right? Not a fan of those ones.

BrendanMcKayDylanWalshMember since 2018
8 years ago

I think you and my son share the same “favorite part of school”. Thank you for the entertaining read…I have to agree that you have a future in writing!

SnerdMember since 2026
8 years ago

Unquestionably the best post that will appear on Fangraphs this year.

WerthlessMember since 2020
8 years ago

Life lesson: some people’s jobs look a lot more fun until you take a turn at it.

asaw780
8 years ago

Hire her immediately.

scotman144Member since 2016
8 years ago

Let’s all remember this one for the BBWAA annual baseball writing awards!

kevinthecomic
8 years ago

To be fair to your dad though, Ruby, Coleverson hit is home run off of Tommy Milone, which would be kind of like you taking one of your brother’s math tests. I liked the part about ‘kids taking up all the internet’. I can relate.

LenFuegoMember since 2025
8 years ago

Someone has to replace Sawchik … why not Ruby? I look forward to her full breakdown on Coleverson’s deceptive power.

Double JMember since 2020
8 years ago

So she’s taking Travis’s place?

Rogu Spanish
8 years ago

Article of the year.

LenFuegoMember since 2025
2 years ago

At the very least, she has less typos than Jeff usually does!

Mario MendozaMember since 2017
2 years ago

even better 5+ year later.

as a Dad who often gets all choked up on Google photo “spotlights” of his kids when they were little, this is one heck of a great memory to enjoy… kudos to you and Ruby!

MikeGianella2Member since 2020
2 years ago

My kids feel the same way about my fantasy career too…