Kicking Rocks: Lip Service

You’re gonna have to learn your clichés.  You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down:  “We gotta play it one day at a time…I’m just happy to be here and hope I can help the ballclub…I just wanna give It my best shot and, Good Lord willing, things’ll work out.” — Crash Davis

While the influx of baseball chatter and interviews is sincerely welcomed at this time of year, we, as fantasy owners, must maintain a clear head and corral that child-like jubilation that a new baseball season brings.  You’re going to hear a number of comments regarding players and teams from both coaches and general managers, as well as from the players themselves.  You’re going to hear things that get you excited about a particular player and if you don’t take things with a grain of salt, you could get swept up in the pomp and circumstance of spring training, lose sight of what’s actually in front of you, and fall victim to the hype.

So with that, let’s look at some common phrases you’ll hear and how you might want to react to them.

“I’m in the best shape of my life”

Oh man, how many times have we heard this one?  Who isn’t in the best shape of their life when they first come to camp?  OK, maybe Pablo Sandoval, but it’s hardly his fault as those In and Out burgers just keep calling to him.  Look, I understand that players can be just as excited to be back in camp as we are to have them there, but this cliche is so overplayed that I don’t know how reporters keep a straight face when they hear it.  Russell Martin has been a major offender here, but lately I’ve heard it a number of times out of Seattle.  Apparently Justin Smoak and Franklin Gutierrez are pretty fit specimens right now.

“I’m in a really good place right now.”

These words were uttered by Ryan Howard just the other day when asked how his rehab was going, but this is actually more in line with the mental version of  ‘the best shape of my life.’  Usually it’s when a player is trying to convince himself that he’s ready to resume playing on a strong level and the nightmarish season before is behind him.  Unfortunately, just the utterance of these words without provocation means that it’s still in the forefront of his mind.  There was belief on my end that Adam Dunn was going to bounce back this season until I heard him say, “I’m going into this year feeling as good as I’ve felt in a long time.”  Now I’m nervous.  I would have felt a whole lot better if these words came from Jayson Werth than from the troubled White Sox slugger.  Werth, I don’t care about.

“____________ is working on a new pitch.”

Perhaps it’s more the casual fan that succumbs to this one, but we hear stories constantly where someone, be it starter or reliever, is adding a new pitch to his repertoire;  or, at the least, working on using a particular pitch more.  Michael Pineda is working on his change-up this spring.  Chris Narveson is developing a cutter.  Even things like playing around with release points on a particular pitch fall into this category.  If the thought of a pitcher adding to his arsenal turns you on, track the progress before declaring that an added pitch will take his game to the next level.  All too often we’ve seen the pitch shelved due to ineffectiveness….and by that I mean an ERA so bloated that it would take five Clayton Kershaw’s in your lineup to help right the ship.

“He’s a professional hitter.”

You know what?  Technically, they’re all professional hitters.  If they weren’t professionals then they wouldn’t be getting paid to do it.  Usually this phrase had been reserved for Matt Stairs, but with his retirement, broadcasters and analysts are searching for ways to keep it alive and well.  It’s now been used on the likes of Paul Konerko, Delmon Young, Adrian Gonzalez and….wait for it…..Sean Burroughs???  Seriously?  Obviously it makes sense when used on some players, but when seven home runs is a career high and you haven’t sniffed more than 200 plate appearances in a season for seven years, there’s nothing “professional” about your hitting.

I’d throw you some more, but I’m pretty winded right now.  So.  Out.  Of.  Breath.  Gonna go hit the treadmill so that by the time the season starts, I can continue.  After all, I’ll be in the best shape of my life.