I Resolve To Slay Mine Foes – Part the Third

Last year, I missed my annual resolution to slay mine foes. While I’d like to say the universe imploded as a result, there’s no sign anybody noticed. I’m here to announce that my resolve has returned in time for 2018, lest I inadvertently prove responsible for the annihilation of humankind. Or something.

In the past, I’ve offered practical resolutions to advance my totally valid career as a fantasy baseball analyst. In 2015, I sought to join a dynasty league. I accomplished this with flying colors. If you pay close attention to my recent work, you may have noticed a heavy dynasty skew to my output. My 2016 resolution involved a series of unique reader leagues. They were… interesting. I ultimately decided against continuing these experimental formats.

Wait, this is boring. What we need is a leitmotif. Stay awhile and listen… to this weird music I play while writing (no joke).

This time around I resolve to start my own podcast. I already have the basic idea in place. It’s called Top Tout. We send 20 fantasy baseball analysts to a sexy location where they’ll compete in a series of challenges – often loosely associated with the location. A panel of judges eliminate them one-by-one until the Top Tout is crowned.

Wait, that’s Top Chef. Top Tout will be something else. But also exactly what I described. First, I need to find a home for it – possibly here? Is FanGraphs already too saturated with podcasts? Should I have first discussed this with my employer? Are you enjoying the leitmotif? Am I asking too many questions?


Well this is weird. I’m only at 250 words which is a tad light even for a January 1 puff piece. Deckard Cain only just mentioned Diablo. We still have two and a half minutes to burn. For you, it’ll be a good 30 seconds before we have come at last to Tristram’s old cathedral. Perhaps I need a second resolution.

Recently, a twitter bot posted a couple hot takes from my latest chat session. To spice things up, I’ll be selecting a few fun comments to highlight… somewhere. Perhaps as the lede to the chat transcripts. Perhaps they’ll appear scattered throughout the Daily Grind during the season. Let’s try it out.


Seriously, they’re pretty similar.


Also, Carson doesn’t haveĀ hiring and firing power.


I still can’t figure out how one would set up a 0.25 catcher league. Ideas?


Pretty sure I just failed some sort of secret initiation.


I remember a time when Nolan Arenado and Nick Castellanos were considered to be similar prospects. I feel like people still have them mentally linked even though they’re so crazily different now.


He’s baiting me, right?

Well, the song’s not over yet, but I’ve had enough of this. See you tomorrow to discuss Amed Rosario and post-hype sleepers.

You can follow me on twitter @BaseballATeam

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Chris Walker
Chris Walker

I will take this time to, in non-sequitur fashion, clamour for W+QS and SV+HLD in the auction calculator. I will accept any ridicule for doing so.


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