Festivus For The Rest Of Us

Thank you all for coming to our annual Festivus celebration! For those that do not know the origins of this wonderful holiday, I implore you to read the wikipedia page or go watch S9E12 of Seinfeld. Please be seated…

“The tradition of Festivus begins with The Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! Now you are gonna hear about it!”

Points League Rules

Can we get on the same page people! ESPN, Yahoo, CBS, and Fantrax all have different scoring formats which makes it virtually impossible to offer sound fantasy advice to the masses without alienating or pissing off half the intended audience! It’s the most popular format in fantasy baseball, but the differences between each outlet make providing analysis for them impractical at best. GET IT TOGETHER!!! 

H2H Playoffs

I am completely over the H2H playoff system in fantasy! I get that it makes sense in fantasy football where skills comes second to just having a good time, but fantasy baseball is a 162 game grind where the best player should be rewarded. If I see another season where the top team loses in the first round of the playoffs, I WILL LOSE MY MIND!!! 

The Los Angeles Dodgers

You may be thinking that I am going to yell at you because you keep winning or because you continue to buy all the great players, but YOU ARE WRONG AGAIN! It’s not that you get all the great players that angers me. It’s the fact you get ALL THE LIKEABLE ONES! You are the new evil empire and I want to hate you (which comes naturally as a Giants fan), but you keep signing and trading for unhatable players! Mookie Betts is just too fun and cool. Shohei Ohtaini is the literal GOAT. Freddie Freeman is just a gem of a person. SIGN PLAYERS TO HATE!!!

The San Francisco Giants

Oh, you thought since I am a Giants fan, you wouldn’t have to feel my wrath?! WRONG! You should have rebuilt, but instead you decided to sign Willy Adames and trade for Rafael Devers. I thought that was foolhardy, but if you are moving all-in, then do it! Do not let another season go on where you straddle the fence and stand pat! Either commit to being good and do what it takes to be successful in that or COMMIT TO BEING BAD!!! 

Trade Vetoes

I complain about this every year, but it is insane that vetoes still exist in fantasy leagues. Yes, if a trade is clearly collusion, it should be overturned, but then the people involved in the trade should be booted from future seasons as well. However, no other deals should be vetoed. Value is subjective. If both parties can articulate why they made a deal then that should be enough. Telling someone that their deal shouldn’t go through is pretty much just calling one side or both stupid and that goes against what fantasy leagues should be: FUN!!!

The Major League Baseball Hall Of Fame Voters

I love baseball. I love history. I hate those unwilling to embrace where they intertwine! There are some amazing baseball writers who painstakingly research and debate their ballots each year to make what they feel are the correct decisions about which players should be honored with enshrinement in the Hall of Fame.   My quarrel is not with these professionals. What I can no longer stand is the ones who clearly do not care about the responsibility of their vote. Too often do we see ballots that are empty or have an agenda. Some vote for certain PED guys and punish others. Some only vote for players that played their games in the area where the writer was from. Some do not even cover baseball and continue to vote like they are an authority of the game they once followed. The Hall of Fame is a history museum and MANY OF THE VOTERS HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT!!!

TV Blackouts

How are we in the year 2025 and still dealing with being unable to watch your favorite teams when you live in their areas?! I remember going on vacation to Hawaii once and not being able to watch any West Coast teams. I have friends in states like Iowa who are blacked out from all the midwest teams! Make this make sense! I am happy to pay for MLB TV, but not being able to watch games on there because of where I am watching it IS MADDENING!!! 

Streaming Services

Speaking of ridiculousness, stop putting random games on different streaming services! These services were originally intended to save people money by being able to get rid of cable or satellite TV and now I have 40 different subscriptions so my kids and wife can watch what they want. MLB getting in on the pain inflicted by forcing me to subscribe to multiple different services to catch games should be a violation of the eighth amendment!!!

Too Many Games

There is no such thing as too many games so I am sorry if this was deceiving. However, MLB is notorious for not staggering games when they have full slates. I want to watch more games, not less! Give me the chance to watch as much baseball as possible and don’t start all the games or the majority of them at the same time!!!

Not Enough Games

Monday and Thursday off days are necessary, I know. However, there are way too many of those off days happening at the same time. If you are going to have a short slate, you must stagger those as well. Baseball is the time of year where I have the excuse to watch games all day and there are too many days where there are no day games or even worse, no night ones! GIVE ME BASEBALL!!!

“And now as festivus rolls on we come to THE FEATS OF STRENGTH!! Until you pin the host, the festivus is not over!!!” In the meantime, feel free to discuss your own grievances or the ones I have laid before you!!!