Today’s Roto Riteup not only makes more than three jokes about Ryan Howard’s weight, but it’s also being written by an author who doesn’t usually grace you with his presence on weekends.

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This will be my only installment of the Roto Riteup this week. I know you’ve all come to love and depend on my weekend posts, but alas, I have a wedding to attend to. In Heaven Iowa.

• The much hyped debut of Trevor Bauer was similar to the knock-off fireworks I used to buy as a kid: not much bang for the buck. In his first MLB start, Bauer lasted a mere four innings and allowed two earned runs. He recorded three strikeouts (one was against Jair Jurrjens though) and allowed as many walks. Going in to this start, Bauer is owned in almost 50% of Yahoo! formats and almost 60% of ESPN leagues. I didn’t get a chance to pick him up in any of my leagues, but it may not matter. He only got three whiffs in this abbreviated start, and clearly control was an issue. Of course it is still absurdly early to draw any conclusions, but it does seem like his minor league walk totals tagged along with him on his promotion.

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I wrote part of today’s Roto Riteup while in the office, and not on my lunch break. Such a rebel, I am. Oddly enough, today’s RR is a little abbreviated due to my overloaded work schedule.

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I took a break from watching Harry Potter to pen today’s Roto Riteup, so you should be all kinds of grateful.

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Did you notice the new FanGraphs Q&A? There’s a fantasy section and everything, so you should go ask questions there after you read today’s Roto Riteup.

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Today’s Roto Riteup has a bullet with your name on it.

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Today’s Roto Riteup is like a box of chocolates; it’s pretty sweet.

• Even though it has only been 72 plate appearances, Andrelton Simmons has shown a ton of life in his bat. His BABIP is somewhat elevated, but he is approaching the threshold of when his contact rate can be accurately judged. His 93.0% Z-Contact% is well above the 87.3% average, and his 86.4% overall contact rate looks favorable when compared to the average 79.9%. Last year was Simmons’ big breakout year offensively, and even though he skipped Triple-A, it looks like Simmons is here to stay. If you need a boost to your middle infield, Simmons could be it. He is available in 95% of Yahoo! leagues and 93% of ESPN formats. Read the rest of this entry »

Today being June 22, 2012 means several things. I’m sure important things have happened on this date. I’m also sure that it is called “my birthday” by many people. Most importantly, today marks the 8th Anniversary of JoJo’s self titled debut album. I only bring this up because one of my friends was (and quite possibly still is) a massive JoJo fan. And yes, I am laughing as I type these words. Of course, I was just a senior in high school at the time and he was just a junior, but still, JoJo? Everyone has embarrassing things from their high school days, but few are on the same level as thinking JoJo was a supremely talented artist. This one’s for you Michael L. I know you just shipped out to Liberia in service of the Peace Corps, but I hope you read this somehow and laugh. Love you buddy! Tangents aside, here is today’s Roto Riteup:

• Will Middlebrooks‘ BABIP is now up to .380 after a 3-for-4 day at the plate yesterday. With the Red Sox actively pushing the “Trade Kevin Youkilis” angle, it appears as though Middlebrooks will be eventually be the guy to own. I’m not too crazy about Middlebrooks’ skill set of lots of K’s and not many walks, but if he is the starter in Boston, he has to be owned. ZiPS isn’t especially fond of him either, predicting a .255 average the rest of the way. On the bright side, he is only owned in 33% of Yahoo! and 32% of ESPN leagues, so maybe you can pick him up and flip him while his value is still high. I’m guessing here, but I’m going to say that his value will never be higher than it is right now. I’d see if I can do a little dealing. Read the rest of this entry »

Today’s Roto Riteup is my fourth of the week, so you get four bullet points to celebrate the occasion. Celebrate good times, come on!

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Today’s Roto Riteup includes somewhat of a rant about the Rockies. You should rant in the comments, too, to make me feel better.

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