It was way too hot last night for any reasonable man to work with a computer on his lap, but this author soldiered through to bring you the Roto Riteup.

On today’s agenda:
1. Clay Buchholz didn’t suck last night
2. Steve Pearce keeps the bat alive
3. Shane Victorino a week away from rehab assignment
4. The Fardel Five

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After today, we’ll be officially half-way through the 2014 season. There’s as many Roto Riteups to come this year as there has already been, which could either be great news, or the bane of your existence.

On today’s agenda:
1. Chris Parmelee in center: good for you, bad for Twins
2. ALERT/Reminder that Taijuan Walker’s starting today
3. An Alex Cobb comparison
4. Manny Machado’s righting the ship
5. The Figurative Five

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Ten years ago today the pop punk group Midtown released their third album titled “Forget What You Know.” I didn’t like it as much as their first two albums, “Save the World, Lose the Girl” and “Living Well is the Best Revenge” but I do like the track Is it me? Is it true? My favorite track by them will always be Like a Movie.

On today’s agenda:
1. Mookie Betts gets the call
2. Bryce Harper’s return?
3. Another quality start from Marcus Stroman
4. The daily five

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Today is the 23rd anniversary of the film “The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear” being released. The boxing knowledge clip seems like a throwaway, but later on it is relevant in the rescue scene.

On today’s agenda:
1. A big day from C.J. Cron
2. Thoughts on Michael Bourn
3. Dylan Bundy’s progress
4. The daily five

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Way back in middle school I vividly remember Nelly’s “Country Grammar” being released. On this date 14 years ago the album was debuted and I was all about it. The track “Ride Wit Me” (warning: language) is something I have mostly memorized to this day.

On today’s agenda:
1. Welcome back, Wilson Ramos
2. A strong outing from Ryan Vogelsong
3. Mike Leake’s even better start
4. Bad news for Tony Cingrani
5. The daily five

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This handsome Roto Riteup author wishes you can take some time off during the middle of the day to enjoy the USMNT face off against the evil Germans.

On today’s agenda:
1. Timmy’s second No-No
2. Erasmo Ramirez down, Taijuan Walker on the way
3. Joc Pederson’s shoulder injury
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
5. The Fixated Five

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Unlike some popular sports stars, the Roto Riteup’s bark is way worse than its bite.

On today’s agenda:
1. Marco Gonzales to debut for Cardinals
2. Brandon Workman keeps rotation spot
3. Tyler Skaggs to return Saturday
4. The Fainéant Five

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Exactly 27 years ago today the genius known as Mel Brooks unleashed the film “Spaceballs.” To boil a masterpiece such as that down to a single scene is impossible, but the trailer does a solid job. Okay, and the ludicrous speed scene. And the “When will then be now?” clip. You know, just go watch the entire film; it’s on Netflix.

On today’s agenda:
1. Thoughts on Everth Cabrera
2. Brett Lawrie to miss 3-6 weeks
3. The return of Travis d’Arnaud
4. The daily five

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If you’re still sick from the nasty USMNT finish yesterday, today’s Roto Riteup may make you feel worse, not better.

On today’s agenda:
1. Matt Shoemaker, a man I believe in
2. Andrew Cashner scratched today
3. The Fascinating Five

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Thirty years ago today the film “The Karate Kid” was released. I’ll admit I haven’t seen the remake, but I have a hard time believing it could possibly have a better montage than the original. I mean, it was the best around.

On today’s agenda:
1. A strong outing from Mike Leake
2. J.J. Hardy hits a home run
3. Joc Pederson watch
4. The daily five

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