Roto Riteup: May 16th, 2012

Yesterday’s biggest news was what was going on in Stephen Strasburg’s pants, which is usually just news to a select group of people, notably his wife and doctors.

• Stephen Strasburg, sans burning hot testicles: 1.64 ERA
• Stephen Strasburg, with flaming beanbags: 9.00 ERA

• I think it’s safe to say Stephen Strasburg would prefer his nads not feel like they’re on fire. As someone who has previously had Bengay near his man parts, I would have to agree with Mr. Strasburg on this one. Although, the icy portion of it does sometimes give a nice little tingle…

• Josh Beckett’s start against the Mariners last night sure was nice, but please be sure not to read anything into it. First off, the Mariners really don’t have an offense, so it’s not like Beckett had to worry about bad pitches getting taken advantage of. Secondly, Beckett’s velocity was still not where it was last year, so let’s all hold off on the “Josh Beckett is back!” posts on Facebook and Twitter. Odds are one of you sent that out last night, and odds are you are now regretting it because of my masterful prose and powers of persuasion.

• In four more plate appearances than he had last year, Chris Parmlee has had 0% of 2011’s home run output. In related news, Parmlee has been sent to the minors to make room for Justin Morneau. Parmlee doesn’t have a track record of being a power hitter, but he does have a history of making contact and hitting for a high average while drawing walks. At only 24-years-old the left-hander has a little bit of time to show what he can do, having never played in Triple-A and all. I like Parmlee in deeper AL-keeper leagues, as well as pretty darn deep mixed keeper leagues.

For those of you who play daily fantasy games like FanGraphs: The Game, or just like to stream players, here are a couple matchups you may be able to exploit.

A Pitcher for Today: Rick Porcello vs MIN
Porcello’s had some rough outings, and he’s also had some good ones. There aren’t many freely available options today, so take what you can get.

A Pitcher for Tomorrow: Matt Harrison vs OAK
I like Harrison more than a should, mainly because he throws hard.

A Hitter for Today: Duda or Davis vs CIN (Mike Leake)
Both lefties are going to have a chance to go yard, just you see.

Zach is the creator and co-author of RotoGraphs' Roto Riteup series, and RotoGraphs' second-longest tenured writer. You can follow him on twitter.

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David Wiers

The phrase “flaming beanbags” elicited an almost embarrassingly loud laugh from myself.