Nominations For Best New Fantasy Baseball Team Names
We all love goofy fantasy baseball team names. Earlier this morning, I was singing one to myself while washing dishes.
~who lives, who dies, who’s Trevor Story~
-Hamilton the Musical
Let’s play a game today. I want your favorite team names from the 2019 season. They should be new to you just as the Story one was new to me. Super Benintendi is passé. I want new, unknown, or underappreciated team names.
Share your favorite(s) in the comments. We can use the thumbs up/down to indicate which are the best. And, if the results merit, we can do one of those silly brackets later in the offseason.
UPDATE: My 10 Favorite (to date). I also name the early leader.
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Suzuki Handbra
On a Brewers podcast I listen to, they were talking about Josh Hader reaching Super 2 status and joked that next year they could have a concessions promotion to support his higher salary. I thought they missed an opportunity to create Super $2 Hot Dog Night, so it’s going to be my team name next year.
My brother and I did an NFBC draft champions team together this year. Our last name is Maher. We went with Super Maherio Bros.
I said boom boom boom, Lemahieu Seunghwan Oh
You flew too close to the sun on that one. But ‘LeMahieu Say Wayo’ would be solid.
Then you would hate the sequel. I said boom boom boom, Arencibia Waino
not all who wander franco are lost
Shed Long longs to shed his long sheds
How many Sotos? Just Juan
Love the Soto one!
Paxton Up Paxton In, Let Me Begin
Acuna Moncada, Only One Plays for the Braves
Edit: Amazingly, the Lion King came out 25 years ago. I feel old.
Literally every single league had some variation of that name
Mr. 55,000
…and the team logo is a pic of Hideki Matsui.
I was the Dahli Lambas (featuring David Dahl & Jake Lamb)
Don’t mean to Breg, man, but Trout won it again
Corbin Dallas Mookiepass
King in the Nolath!
Yord of the Rings
yu snell’t it, yuli dealt it
I gave a buddy from DC “Deep State Nine” without even realizing there was a baseball episode in DS9
Uh, so much for this idea.
I don’t understand why a person would go through 50 comments and downvote every pun they don’t like, but hey, it’s the internet. As a Dad, I’m proud of having the highest negative team name.
Yuli Adley Didi
juan uribae
how can you downvote this?
Not all who Wander are lost
Jo Jo’s MLB Adventure
No runs Forrest, no runs
A Choo
StrawMerrifields Forever
Juan Soto: A Star Wars Story
Votto Erotic Asphyxiation
Hardline Troutskyite
The Bryce Must Flow
love the votto one
Goldy’s Pham (Goldschmit and Tommy Pham)
The Pham Bams
Goldy Meadows (Goldschmit and Austin Meadows)
Godley Goldy (If you happen to be the one person who has Zack Godley and Goldschmit on your team)
Smoaking Trout (Justin Smoak and Trout)
Hand it to the Blackmon (Brad Hand and Charlie Blackmon)
J-Hey Nice Tatis (Jason Heyward and Tatis Jr.)
Blackmon’s Peacock (Charlie Blackmon and Brad Peacock)
SAGGY TATIS
That’ll do Puig
K-O-PECH-Tate
CJ Cron’s disease
Call 866-…Descalco
these bad puns have killed my sense of joy
Team OuroBoras.
Pinot Biggio
Cavan Pinot Biggio
Master Batters
Bobby Bonilla Retirement Plan
I’m sure it’s passe, but probably nothing will ever top The Duda Bides as best name ever
My best work:
Colomé Maybe (with Carly Rae’s hair photoshopped onto Alex’s face)
Jepsen’s Malört (back when Kevin Jepsen was a reliever)
My worst work:
Home a Loney
Krispersky Bryantivirus
I’m partial to names that reference a very catchy/annoying song so whenever someone sees it, it gets stuck in their head. A bit of team name Inception, if you will.
Hence… Piscotty Doesn’t Know
I Shin-Soo Choose Yu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya2Sx8xmMpc
Hand Soto Shot First
30-50 Feral Puigs
1) When he was playing, “That’s So Taguchi”. Now, He’s just “Incredibly Taguchi”
2) The BullDoziers (Brian and Hunter)
Vottomatic for the People in one of my leagues. In another I finally dropped Longoria, so The Longo Kiss Goodnight became Freshly Squeezed Orange Strassidy.
Colicky Baby Yodas
I’m in an NFBC DC draft right now. Team name is “Bang Bang… Here Comes the Change”
Yordan A Woman
This one would have been a more impressive collection of promising talent in my dynasty league a year or two ago, but: “Stanton up to North Correa”
This team name would not qualify (no current player pun) but I had to tell the story…
An owner in a league of mine has a last name of Schruefer. For years his team name was Schruef’s Goofs; someone else might’ve given that name, I don’t know. The entire league thought for many years that has last name was pronounced “SHROOFER”.
One day at our draft he says that isn’t the pronunciation, that it is “SHREEFER”. All of us were like “Why in the world would you have a team name of Goofs if your last name is pronounced differently?” He never said why and I don’t think he cared much. Keep in mind he is pretty straight-laced: wife & 2.2 kids & dog. We said he needed to change his team name and at that moment my buddy leans into me and says the name that has now stuck:
Schruefer Madness
You Never Give Me Yasmani
Madrigal Mystery Tour
You Never Give Me Yasmani
Reading the comments is funny. It is like someone came through and just downvoted every single one. Admittedly most the names suck, but it is still funny. Some of the ones I enjoyed:
Regression is Mean
You down with OBP?
Selling Jeans
(team included Puig & Aquino)
Matz All, Folks!
From Rutschman With Love
The Three True Rob Deers* (feel free to substitute Gallo, etc.)
Medium News Bears
No RISP No Reward
Kluber-Ross Stages of Grief
Miliary Kluberculosis
The Protamine Sulfates (for a team with Trout and Semien. Protamine sulfate is an anti coagulation reversal agent originally derived from fish sperm)
My team name was Domo Arigato Mr. Arenado — you have to have a passing knowledge of bad 80s pop music to get it, but it does work with any name ending in “o” preceded by 7 syllables combined (mis-ter ar-en-a-do).
Bad???!?!?!?
Dozier some nice Hanigers (woman in a bikini as the logo)
Gooden Terrible – requires knowing dialogue from Coming to America, but face it you probably do.
Craic of the Bat – would work well for an Irishman.
Moose Knuckle-Curve – sort of writes itself, and I’m pretty sure Mussina did throw a spike/knuckle curveball.
Beantown Pedroiaphiles
Lake wOBAgoners
Albies Your Cryin Shoulder
Albies There For You
Albies Be My Maybe
Unfortunately, all of those names were too long for Yahoo Fantasy
Yet another reason to quit Yahoo 🙁
One of our league owners has a reputation of being frugal…his team name is “The Ebenezer Scroogies”…
I’ve always used the same team name for the past 2 decades now. TopDawgs. It’s my team, its about me, not the players.
Team Motto: “Who let the dawgs out? Bitch, I AM the dawgs!”
Keepin’ it on the DL
To the Victor Victor Go the Spoils
Life in Astudillo Apartment
Vlad, Vlad Eloy Brown
Klubernetes
That Don’t Impress McCutch
High Strikes and Missed-two-seamers
just 3 votes? for a new ( current affairs) team name, I thought this was a winner
I had to read it a second time to see it. I just assumed your were one of those people who just doesn’t get the whole team name thing.
That’s what i get for getting my inspiration from NPR
High crimes and misdemeanors
Several teams I used were named the Lords of Flatbush. No down votes, please. :))
The Bobbleheads
Cody Bellinger hit a late Sunday afternoon grand slam in the semifinals of our dynasty league. It flipped 3 cats and won his owner the matchup, then the league.
He changed his name to ‘Saved by the Bellinger’ within 10 min of the GS
Neither is new, but I’ll never top:
Judge, Drury, Executioner
I am the Bregman, I am the Walrus
fondlin ya girl’s tatis
Ebbets Fielders
The Pham, Tom Menace
Slapdick Prospectors Inc.
I love “Buffy, the Umpire Slayer”
We need a video of Matt Duffy fouling a ball off an umpire’s crotch. Or Danny Duffy just straight up hitting one.
Don’t Get Mad, Get Vlad
I like Soto Popinski. Not original or overly creative, but having a picture of Soda Popinski as the team avatar makes it great.
My favorite among recent names is “Blash in Japan.”
A bit of explanation: One of my leaguemates was often tempted to draft Jabari Blash because of his prodigious power displays in Spring Training. Alas, those displays always turned out to be a “flash in the pan” because Blash was always terrible when given real MLB playing time. When we heard that Blash in 2019 was going to be playing in Japan instead of the US, the fantasy name basically wrote itself.
Slapdick Squad
Peking Toms? Roto Yoda?
Betts Make you Borucki
Aristides Bar
I was always a fan of “We Buy Goldschmidt” with the avi as Eric Cartman when he owned? the pawn shop.
That’s a good one, but it doesn’t top ManBearPuig for South Park inspired names.
Joc straps
Tortuga Lub-A Dubb Dubb!