Letters from the Battlefield – February 25, 2020

Camp Jupiter, Florida

February 25, 2020

Dearest Mother, 

I apologize for not writing sooner. I was inspired to write to you after reading the letters a former Captain, named Andrew Luck, wrote to his mother. I hope these letters find you well. 

We arrived in the fields in Florida a few weeks ago for training for approximately three or four fortnights before heading out with our individual units for battle around this great nation. Of course the battery members arrived prior to the lot of us, outside of Major Zack Greinke, from the Houston unit, who rode in under the cover of darkness well after the rest of the unit. However, the grand majority of our soldiers are excited for the battles to come. The men exude bravado, but I wonder if they harbor any fear as well. I know I do. 

Everything had gone on as expected for the majority of our training. There are over 50 of us in our camp right now, but commanders have told us that we shall only take 26 into the battle. The rest will be transferred to a minor unit for more training until called up to the fighting unit. This will likely be some of the more inexperienced soldiers or ones that “do not cut the mustard” as Sergeant Kristopher Lee Bryant of Chicago put it to me. He cautioned me not to “play old soldier” and risk being sent to these minor camps as the conditions are dreadful. Little to no pay, tack as hard as rocks, brackish water, and worst of all, it does not count towards your service time in the war. 

The only distraction to our training has been the constant discussions of the unit from Houston that were found to have committed war crimes during a number of battles in Texas in the War of 2017. Rumor has it that the unit used spies and trash cans to gain intelligence on their enemies arsenal and battle plans. There were also some rumors about Corporal Jose Altuve being unwilling to be undressed at the end of a battle, but I truly do not understand why he would not desire to or what he could have been hiding. 

Their command has been punished and General A.J. Hinch and other leaders have been relieved of their duties, but it feels as if the President has decided to sweep the matter under the rug the best he can and only truly punish the play outs and not those who committed these atrocities on their hooks. Some Generals that commanded other units in Boston and New York have been implicated as well. General Jose “Alex” Cora was fired for committing similar atrocities while leading the Massachusetts Army. General Carlos I. Beltran fell on his sword and was relieved of his duties that he just obtained for the New York Army. 

Newsmen from around the world have bombarded us with questions about the topic. Some of us have spoken our truth on the matter, but others have held our tongues. I fear that these atrocities are more common than many are willing to admit, but we shall never know the true extent of them. I pray that the talk of this will end soon so we may continue our training uninterrupted, but it feels as if this talk will never end. 

Please kiss my wife and child for me and let them know I miss them dearly. I hope to return to you all without injury to my body or reputation. 


Your Honorable Son, 

Private Justin Mason

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Justin is the co-host on The Sleeper and The Bust Podcast and writes for Rotographs covering the Roto Riteup as well as random topics that float into his juvenile brain. In addition to his work at Rotographs, Justin is the lead fantasy writer/analyst and co-owner for FriendswithFantasyBenefits.com, owner of The Great Fantasy Baseball Invitational, and a fantasy football and baseball writer for Fantasy Alarm. He is also a certified addiction treatment counselor. Follow Justin on Twitter @JustinMasonFWFB.

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Good one on Altuve.