Your boy’s a little under the weather. It seems easing off the throttle even just for a minute signaled to my body that it was OK to let up, and it’s finally catching up on being annoying after a lengthy NBA playoff run (shout out to the Raptors). That’s not to excuse the poor calls and bad puns that follow – you get those in sickness and in health – but to note that I’m writing this late Thursday instead of first thing in the morning, as usual, so if any updates broke after 1 a.m. ET or so, they won’t be reflected here.

So, apologies for that, and now lift a Nyquil Dixie cup in hopes the next intro isn’t nearly as self-involved.

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The best pitch you’ll see from Wednesday:

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The Red Sox are ridiculous, annoying, and bordering on unfair. Not only did Mookie Betts smash three home runs on Tuesday, his teammate Xander Bogaerts extended his hitting streak to 24 games, less than a week after Jackie Bradley Jr. saw his hitting streak snapped at 29. This is your top “must avoid” team for streaming, as their 126 wRC+ is now 10 points higher than the next best offense (Pirates, 116).

The Red Sox recalled Rusney Castillo and his .241/.302/.317 Triple-A slash-line, by the way, as Bradley’s off to the paternity list (congrats!, since I’m sure you read RR daily).

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What do you even try to do with something like this?

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This morning’s Roto Riteup wishes you a happy Memorial Day. Go out there and barbeque (and drink) like a friggin champ.

On the agenda:
1. Fun with arbitrary endpoints: Hitters
2. Fun with arbitrary endpoints: Pitchers
3. Various News and Notes
4. Streaming Pitcher Options

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Today’s Roto Riteup celebrates waking up on a Sunday, lying in bed for a couple hours, and realizing you get to the do the same thing tomorrow.

On the agenda:
1. This is the Gordon Beckham we wanted
2. Various News and Notes
3. Streaming Pitcher Options

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Today’s Roto Riteup mourns for the career of Julio Urias. It was fun while it lasted, kid.

On the agenda:
1. Urias’ Short Debut
2. Various News and Notes
3. Streaming Pitcher Options

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Jackie Bradley Jr.’s hitting streak came to an end at 29 games yesterday. Obviously, it’s a massive failing of John Farrell for changing his lineup position and not at all because getting a hit in 30 consecutive games is incredibly difficult. Nope, all Farrell. In any case, Bradley now owns the fourth-longest hitting streak in franchise history, and he hit .415/.488/.783 over that stretch. Not a bad month.

Xander Bogaerts is up next – he’s already at 19 games.

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I once went to a Jays-Yankees game and sat near a guy in head-to-toe Red Sox gear. Tonight, I saw someone with a Timofey Mozgov Cleveland Browns jersey in Cleveland. I, myself, own a signed Andrea Bargnani jersey, an Eric Hinske jersey, and any number of other awful apparel and memorabilia items.

None of it is anywhere near as bad as this jabroni:

You’re doing it wrong, buddy. pic.twitter.com/FSdjWFikYv

— Chris Hrabe (@chrabe) May 25, 2016

Who hurt you, fam?
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Baseball is a veritable goldmine of “sliding into your DMs” highlights. I give you Mike Napoli:

You won’t find a finer slide than this, @MikeNapoli25! pic.twitter.com/nPjrZA3u3l

— Carlos Carrasco (@Cookie_Carrasco) May 25, 2016

Happy Wednesday.

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