Welcome to a special edition of the Friday Roto Riteup. “Why is it special,” you ask? Well, esteemed colleague Professor Pony is out being nerdy this morning, so you get me instead!
On today’s agenda:
1. Felix Hernandez to start Sunday
2. Jered Weaver gets scratched from today’s start
3. Clay Buchholz pushed up to Saturday
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
In a surprise twist, “Fun with Arbitrary Endpoints” has been put off until Friday’s edition of the Roto Riteup due to a glut of roto relevant information today.
On today’s agenda:
1. Hanley Ramirez day-to-day
2. Jason Heyward takes BP
3. Yonder Alonso likely out for the year
4. Tim Beckham called up
5. Jose Abreu granted residency in Haiti
Today’s Roto Riteup chooses to ignore the fact that David Wiers did not proclaim the absolute virtue of King Felix Hernandez when given the opportunity yesterday.
On today’s agenda:
1. No surgery for Matt Harvey
2. Clayton Kershaw to get some added rest
3. Edwin Encarnacion and Brett Cecil are done for the season
4. Starling Marte is back
Today’s Roto Riteup is unofficially brought to you by the Harpoon’s UFO White that the present author enjoyed while writing.
On today’s agenda:
1. Cliff Lee’s ridiculous day
2. Felix Hernandez’s start gets pushed back
3. The return of Matt Kemp
4. Welcome back, Sean Marshall
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Today’s Roto Riteup is sponsored by tonight’s sub-par Monday Night Football offering. Instead of watching the Bengals beat up on the old Steelers, why not partake in a baseball game on your television?
On today’s agenda:
1. Johnny Cueto returns to the mound today
2. Jake Odorizzi to come up this week
3. Stephen Strasburg should make a start this week
4. Cory Luebke shuts down rehab
Four days from today will mark the 23rd anniversary of the classic film Goodfellas. The trailer, as good as it is (warning: language, violence, etc.), scarcely does the film justice.
On today’s agenda:
1. Another rough outing for CC Sabathia
2. Johnny Cueto’s looming return
3. A strong finish for Denard Span?
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Today is Friday the 13th. If you happen to be the superstitious type, or maybe one that happens to believe in hokey religions, just know that Han Solo thinks otherwise.
On today’s agenda:
1. Angel Pagan is still hitting, still available
2. Another week in the boot for Allen Craig
3. Mark Reynolds keeps hitting
4. The lateness of Adam LaRoche
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The present author would like to apologize to the readership for the lack of a Roto Riteup yesterday. Unfortunately there is no grand story of woe or excessive partying; instead, the author fell asleep in front of the television watching old shows on Netflix.
On today’s agenda:
1. Bryce Harper returns
2. Paul Maholm, Alex Wood both scratched
3. Derek Jeter to DL, season over
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
Two days ago Jim Carey tweeted a certain picture that has the present author brimming with excitement. The mere prospect of what is being called Dumb and Dumber To being filmed is cause for celebration. The movie already has a pre-production IMDB page — not to mention an entire generation of fans waiting for a sequel to a film that had such amazing moments like this.
On today’s agenda:
1. Alex Rodriguez keeps hitting
2. An end to Ike Davis‘ season
3. Josmil Pinto’s hot start
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Today’s Roto Riteup was written after the author slept through most of the 4th quarter of the Seahawks game.
On today’s agenda:
1. Bryce Harper out with hip injury
2. Derek Jeter to rest sore ankle
3. Clay Buchholz to start tomorrow
