Thursday is the best day at the Roto Riteup, and this go-around is even better thanks to a massive helping of arbitrary endpoints.

On today’s agenda:
1. Byron Buxton injured in first Double-A game
2. Yu Darvish to the DL
3. Kyle Lohse hurts an ankle
4. Fun with Arbitrary Endpoints
5. The Furibund Five

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“There was a time when people didn’t go out of their house on Wednesday morning because the Roto Riteup was online.” – Ed McMahon, who wouldn’t lie on the internet

On today’s agenda:
1. Buck Farmer to debut today
2. Manny Machado’s sprained right knee
3. Ricky Nolasco to return Friday
4. George Springer needs a fortnight
5. The Ferriferous Five

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Hi. It’s Monday. This is the Roto Riteup.

On today’s agenda:
1. Dustin Pedroia heating up
2. The Blue Jays and Tigers are tired
3. Anibal Sanchez to DL
4. The Felicitous Five

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I wish all Roto Riteup readers a tolerable Thursday, since that all we can really hope for. — April Winchell, sort of.

On today’s agenda:
1. Troy Tulowitzki takes BP
2. Josh Tomlin demoted to bullpen
3. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
4. The Feisty Five

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The middle of the week is the time when Roto Riteup readers prove they’re men and others turn into watered down pansies.

On today’s agenda:
1. Andrew McCutchen out for awhile
2. Michael Cuddyer to begin rehab
3. Shane Victorino has back surgery
4. David Price in a Tigers’ Uni
5. The Forgiving Five

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Monday is when the Roto Riteup shines in your face and sends you back to bed.

On today’s agenda:
1. Paul Goldschmidt out for season
2. Adam Wainwright has struggled recently
3. Danny Santana stays hot
4. The Fixated Five

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All y’all Roto Riteup weekend folk are stuck with me today while Wiers spit-shines his figurines.

On today’s agenda:
1. Matt Harvey throws a ball
2. Brett Lawrie rehabbing
3. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
4. The Fine Five

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The Washington Nationals have acquired Asdrubal Cabrera from the Cleveland Indians, sending shortstop Zach Walters back as compensation.

Asdrubal still has great name recognition for fantasy owners, but that’s his biggest selling point anymore. Asdrubal hit .242 last season with a .307 wOBA, and he’s in the midst of repeating it with .246/.306 marks as a member of the Indians. Asdrubal has brought a touch of power to the middle infield — hitting 25 dongs in 2011 — but those numbers have faded each year since, with ZiPS thinking he ends the year with 14, just as he did in 2013. Asdrubal is going to play second base in Washington, which will make him eligible at both middle infield positions for the first time since 2010. Not having to face the Tigers pitching staff will be a boost, and he should get a minor jump in HR potential due to his new ballpark, but Cabrera’s value doesn’t change much with the move.

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In Boston’s second big deal of the day, John Lackey is headed to the Cardinals in exchange for starter Joe Kelly and “outfielder” Allen Craig.

Lackey will see a sweet boost in his value in August and September, as he’ll get to avoid the DH and move into baseball’s best pitcher’s parks. Throughout his career, Lackey has feasted on the NL in interleague play, earning a 3.07 ERA in 246 innings. Lackey has stuck out 219 in those innings, leading to a WHIP of 1.18. Lackey won’t necessarily see much of a defensive boost with his new club, especially because he’s induces neither grounders nor flies at a special rate. If you’re in an NL-only league, go bid big on Lackey right now and use this unique chance to add an impact starter over the roto stretch run.

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Jon Lester has been traded by the Red Sox to the Oakland Athletics, and in a fascinating twist, Boston will receive Yoenis Cespedes in return. Jonny Gomes will accompany Lester in Oakland, and a competitive balance pick will go with Cespedes to Boston.

Lester has reemerged as an absolute ace in his contract year, and he’s rolling into the Bay Area with a career best ERA, WHIP, FIP, xFIP, and SIERA. While most people consider Boston to be a hitter’s paradise, it’s actually relatively neutral outside of doubles smacking off the Green Monster, but moving to Oakland will still be a good thing for Lester. Oakland is one of the great pitcher’s parks, with spacious foul ground that makes ranchers fantasize about life on the open range. Lester has started six games in Oakland throughout his career, allowing four homers with an ERA of 3.52 in 38.1 IP, slightly better than his career ERA in Fenway park.

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