The Daily Grind: PleaseFundMe

Well, I didn’t win the Powerball. Again. My plans to buy a major league team will have to wait. Meanwhile, the $250 million jackpot (after lump sum penalty and taxes) buys less and less of a team. Even the financially insolvent Marlins cost over a billion dollars. Oh, I have an idea.

AGENDA

1. PleaseFundMe
2. Weather Reports
3. Pitchers to Use and Abuse
4. SaberSim Says…
5. TDG Invitational Returns!

1. PleaseFundMe

I’m seeking $250 million dollars to buy a plurality ownership stake in a major league franchise. As a lead owner, I will use team revenues to subvert traditional forms of assholery such as paying minor leaguers a pitiful wage. I can at least promise a seasonal wage of $25,000 for all US-based players (sorry Dominican Leaguers). Upward adjustments may be necessary based on further analysis.

I’ll improve the local market (said locale to be named later) by hosting a number of “throwback” nights where we celebrate a year in team history by setting ticket prices to what they were in the way back. Luxury boxes and concessions to remain at 2017 values. Don’t buy the $13 crab fries if you can’t afford them.

I will also vociferously campaign against ads on jerseys. Indeed, I’ll sell half of my ad space to fake products – just because. When available, the stadium will be renamed something suitably quirky and non-commercial.

Since crowdfunding platforms take a cut of the action, why don’t you just paypal me the money?

2. Weather Reports

Pittsburgh has a 30 percent chance for rain. The other 11 games are all clear.

3. Pitchers to Use and Abuse

Early Slate: The four game early contest features the return of Robbie Ray against a gutted Mets roster. After missing nearly a month due to concussion, Ray isn’t likely to throw more than 80 or 90 pitches. I haven’t seen a public report of a pitch count, but he most assuredly has one. He should still earn a win versus Rafael Montero, making his $9,200 FD price tag palatable.

Jaime Garcia makes for a volatile target. His average outing if a quality start – 6.1 innings per outing and a 4.52 ERA. However, he tends to mix successful, long appearances with meltdowns. The Tigers offense is rather weak. Garcia isn’t guaranteed run support with Michael Fulmer on the other side.

Stack Targets: Montero, Tom Koehler, Jake Thompson, Vance Worley

Main Slate: Aces! Five! Chris Sale is visiting Cleveland. Stephen Strasburg is hanging out with Dallas Keuchel in Houston. Carlos Martinez will face the lowly Padres, and Jake Arrieta has the challenge of surviving Great American Ballpark. CMart has the best combination of talent, matchup, and price ($9,800). It should be noted that Sale has average an unreal 51.5 points per start. Not even Clayton Kershaw does that. However, his recent appearance against Cleveland resulted in just nine points.

Beyond the aces, there is only one alternative. Trevor Bauer could be a neat contrarian pick. He’s earned 40 or more points in five of his six most recent starts. He reportedly has a new cutter he’s using to carve up opponents.

I suppose Jose Berrios is viable too, but only because he’s facing the White Sox.

Stack Targets: Martin Perez, Luis Perdomo, Troy Scribner, Derek Holland, Sal Romano

4. SaberSim Says…

Sale, Ray, CMart, Bauer, and Berrios are the preferred arms today. Sure, whatever. Hitters include Giancarlo Stanton, Anthony Rizzo, Mike Trout, Kris Bryant, and Marcell Ozuna. The top values are Cameron Maybin, Christian Yelich, and some cold Phillies (i.e. Maikel Franco, Tommy Joseph, and Hyun Soo Kim).

5. The Daily Grind Invitational

Luke Weaver surprise gem combined with Drew Pomeranz, Gary Sanchez, and Rhys Hoskins carried jjmcgowan to an easy victory. They combined for 118.55 of his 175.55 points. Many congrats and leaderboard.

Let’s return to FanDuel today.