Kicking Rocks: Autodrafters

Come on, man.  It’s one day out of the year.  That’s all we’re asking for here.  We’re not asking you to split the atom or anything; just give us your undivided attention for only a few hours on one day out of the year.  You better have one hell of an excuse for your absence because even just one team on autodraft messes with the draft strategy of everyone else.

Frustrating, isn’t it?  I know we’re not curing cancer here or anything, but to a lot of people who play this game, draft day can be the pinnacle of their year.  It’s the only time during the season, barring keeper leagues, at which they have a fresh start and a reasonably equivalent chance at winning the league.  But your autodrafting, especially if you don’t take the time to set up a queue list of 300 or more players, dramatically affects the outcome of the draft and ultimately, the league.

Forget about the fact that the rest of us have to sit and wait while the clock ticks down on your first pick.  We use that time to make fun of you in the chat area and in the end, you help move things along quicker from round two and on anyway.  That’s not where the problem lies.  The problem lies in the fact that the computer is placing the next best available guy, regardless of position or injury status, on your roster and causes grief to those who either covet a guy they know they’ll never get as few players slip through or were hoping to wait on someone for a more appropriate time to draft them.

Have you seen where ESPN ranks Michael Bourn?  The fourth round is way too high to draft him, but if you want his stolen bases and you have an autodrafter in there, you’re going to have to take him early.  Or how about the way Yahoo ranks and lumps together a number of this year’s “sleeper pitchers?”  Gio Gonzalez, Brandon Beachy and Cory Luebke are all right near each other which means I can probably have one but not the others.

You’re killing me, Smalls!!!

Then of course, there’s the fact that you’re likely to hate the team the computer drafted for you, thus lowering our chances of getting your full participation the whole year.  You’ll check your roster, post-draft, and see it littered with players like Ryan Howard, Michael Pineda, Chipper Jones and Ryan Madson and you’ve given up before you’ve even started.  Nothing worse than a dead team in the league because you autodrafted the guest list of Dr. James Andrews’ most recent office party.

It’s not that we don’t understand that things can come up and you have a life outside of fantasy baseball.  But more often than not, commissioners set draft dates early enough for you to adjust your schedule.  Tell your wife/husband that you can’t go to you neighbor’s barbecue until late.  Send your kids off on a play date with one of their friends.  Tell your mom that you’ll clean out the garage next weekend.  We’re not saying skip your grandpa’s funeral here, but give us the courtesy of making your presence in the league felt in the right way.