While Wiers is off working through a hangover, I’m here on schedule to bring you a fresh edition of the Roto Riteup. It’s pairs nicely with turkey breakfast sandwich and some A Perfect Circle.

Today’s Agenda
1. Yordano Ventura makes me feel funny
2. Felix Doubront struggles
3. Who are you, and what have you done with Aaron Harang?
4. The Daily Five

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Today I’ll be at my first live major league game of the year. assuming we’re not counting spring training. Look for me in the crowd in Chicago as the Pittsburgh Pirates take on the Cubs.

On today’s agenda:
1. A.J. Ellis to have knee surgery
2. John Lackey’s strong start
3. Matt Moore’s elbow soreness
4. The Daily Five

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Today’s Agenda
1. Mark Trumbo loves being a Diamondback
2. Alex Cobb rebounds against the Rangers
3. Ben Revere starts out hot
4. The Daily Five

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Apparently there were some shootie-hoops games yesterday. Given my bracket had half of my elite eight teams eliminated opening weekend, I think I’ll just stick to baseball.

On today’s agenda:
1. Ryan Braun’s thumb injury
2. Thoughts on Michael Pineda
3. Taijuan Walker’s soonish return
4. The Daily Five

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They say money can’t buy happiness and “The Simpsons” once spoke of “The Trouble with Trillions.” The trillion dollar bill episode aired 16 years ago today. My favorite line of “give what back?” still makes me laugh.

On today’s agenda:
1. Dee Gordon’s fast start
2. Welcome back. Matt Kemp
3. A hamstring strain for Mark Teixeira
4. Thoughts on Masahiro Tanaka’s debut
5. The Daily Five

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Today is the 16th anniversary of the debut of the show “Catdog” on Nickelodeon. I remember watching this as a kid and while it was never a favorite, it did often make me wonder how Catdog was able to go the bathroom.

On today’s agenda:
1. Alejandro De Aza’s power
2. An announcement of an announcement for the New York Mets
3. Michael Bourn begins rehab assignment
4. The Daily Five

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Today’s Roto Riteup looks forward to the author’s customary three day weekend, as well as the start of a bunch of new baseball series.

On today’s agenda
1. The Corey Kluber Society mourns
2. Jameson Taillon’s elbow
3. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
4. The Daily Five

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Tomorrow, April 3, will be the 22 year anniversary of the John Hughes film “Beethoven” being released in the United States. For anyone who doesn’t remember that particular piece of cinema, here is the trailer. Warning: it is so 90’s it hurts.

On today’s agenda:
1. Jose Reyes to the disabled list, Melky Cabrera to leadoff
2. Poor velocity, poor results from CC Sabathia
3. A lineup swap in Philadelphia
4. The Daily Five

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Unlike this author’s life choices, today’s edition of the Roto Riteup is not foolish.

On today’s agenda
1. Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Adam Wainwright?
2. Aces’ reeling
3. Early injuries
4. The Daily Five

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Today’s Roto Riteup welcomes the one true Opening Day with open arms, even though the present offer will be stuck in the office all day and miss most of the tantalizing action.

On today’s agenda:
1. Manny Machado heads to DL
2. Shane Victorino questionable for today
3. Kevin Slowey makes the Marlins
4. The Daily Five

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