Y’all are stuck with me through Thursday this week with no interruption from Wiers, so I suggest you prepare your diddly-holes accordingly. Here’s Monday’s Roto Riteup.

On today’s agenda:
1. Brandon McCarthy to the Yankees
2. Jeff Samardzija dominates in AL
3. Chase Headley to the Blue Jays?
4. Rubby De La Rosa to start Wednesday
5. The Foolhardy Five

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Welcome to the final week before the All-Star Game! Time to make moves to win now or rebuild for next year.

On today’s agenda:
1. My affection for Christian Yelich grows
2. Thoughts on David Freese
3. Tommy La Stella is hitting
4. Quick thought on Odrisamer Despaigne
5. The daily five

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I hope everyone had a grand day yesterday! Between eating, baseball (including a massive trade by my favorite club, the Oakland Athletics) and having a beer or two, yesterday was a grand time for yours truly. I’ll leave the fantasy implications of the trade to smarter minds but I can’t imagine two starting pitchers ever complained about going from Wrigley Field to the Coliseum, even when factoring in the NL to AL difference.

On today’s agenda:
1. A glance at two Mets hitters
3. Brandon Belt’s return
4. Logan Morrison’s hitting
5. The daily five

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Today features a massive edition of arbitrary endpoints, because we’re halfway through the season and it just feels right for this Roto Riteup.

On today’s agenda:
1. Cliff Lee to begin rehab assignment
2. Joe Kelly needs more DL time
3. Fun with arbitrary endpoints: June
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints: Last 365 days
5. The Femicidal Five

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It was way too hot last night for any reasonable man to work with a computer on his lap, but this author soldiered through to bring you the Roto Riteup.

On today’s agenda:
1. Clay Buchholz didn’t suck last night
2. Steve Pearce keeps the bat alive
3. Shane Victorino a week away from rehab assignment
4. The Fardel Five

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After today, we’ll be officially half-way through the 2014 season. There’s as many Roto Riteups to come this year as there has already been, which could either be great news, or the bane of your existence.

On today’s agenda:
1. Chris Parmelee in center: good for you, bad for Twins
2. ALERT/Reminder that Taijuan Walker’s starting today
3. An Alex Cobb comparison
4. Manny Machado’s righting the ship
5. The Figurative Five

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Ten years ago today the pop punk group Midtown released their third album titled “Forget What You Know.” I didn’t like it as much as their first two albums, “Save the World, Lose the Girl” and “Living Well is the Best Revenge” but I do like the track Is it me? Is it true? My favorite track by them will always be Like a Movie.

On today’s agenda:
1. Mookie Betts gets the call
2. Bryce Harper’s return?
3. Another quality start from Marcus Stroman
4. The daily five

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Today is the 23rd anniversary of the film “The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear” being released. The boxing knowledge clip seems like a throwaway, but later on it is relevant in the rescue scene.

On today’s agenda:
1. A big day from C.J. Cron
2. Thoughts on Michael Bourn
3. Dylan Bundy’s progress
4. The daily five

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Way back in middle school I vividly remember Nelly’s “Country Grammar” being released. On this date 14 years ago the album was debuted and I was all about it. The track “Ride Wit Me” (warning: language) is something I have mostly memorized to this day.

On today’s agenda:
1. Welcome back, Wilson Ramos
2. A strong outing from Ryan Vogelsong
3. Mike Leake’s even better start
4. Bad news for Tony Cingrani
5. The daily five

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This handsome Roto Riteup author wishes you can take some time off during the middle of the day to enjoy the USMNT face off against the evil Germans.

On today’s agenda:
1. Timmy’s second No-No
2. Erasmo Ramirez down, Taijuan Walker on the way
3. Joc Pederson’s shoulder injury
4. Fun with arbitrary endpoints
5. The Fixated Five

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