690 home runs. Let that sink in for a second. You may not own or even like Alex Rodriguez, but that is a jaw-dropping number of homers. He hit the 690th of his career in his return to the lineup Wednesday, his left oblique apparently feeling a little better. He’s 24 home runs away from Babe Ruth for third all-time, and whether rooting for or against him, that could be a fun late-season chase to watch if things go well (ZiPS and Steamer project him for 20 and 17 more).

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Believe. Even when the odds seem wildly stacked in your favor, believe. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.

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As an important reminder, it’s always instructive to check the weather for each ballpark before setting daily lineups. Luckily, Mike Trout is not only one of the best fantasy players going, he’s also a major asset for your research department.

Here’s @MikeTrout with tonight’s weather report! pic.twitter.com/rZmbq6365j

— Angels (@Angels) April 26, 2016

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Some days are great. Some days you just have it, everything is clicking, and the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders. Other days, life kicks your butt, and this is all you can muster.

RECAP: #Reds draw four walks vs. Cubs. pic.twitter.com/PSY5I3DyBB

— Cincinnati Reds (@Reds) April 22, 2016

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We all know what shrimp is, right? The old walk-off walk, one of the most disheartening ways to lose a game, particularly for a pitcher? Well what, exactly, do we call what happened in the 10th inning in Baltimore last night?

A walk-off passed ball? You’re killing me, Josh Thole. I don’t even know. Is this…prawn? Krill?

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Live from a coffee shop at 6 a.m. because I just moved and don’t have the internet set up yet, it’s the Roto Riteup! Have you ever tried to exist for three days without the internet? I don’t recommend it. I’ve been hiding out at coffee shops, spending far too long around the Raptors’ facilities, and killing my data with hot-spots.

Sure, you could say, “Just use the internet less,” but in 2016, that’s akin to telling a pitcher to “just get Bryce Harper out,” or, “Just make good contact” off Stephen Strasburg. Some things are easier said than done.

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The NL East is going to be a streaming pitcher haven all year, it looks like. We’ve mentioned this, and we’re still not even halfway to the point that team batting average, for example, begins stabilizing, but given our Bayesian prior for some of these teams, it’s time to start focusing on the Phillies, Braves, and Mets.

Those three teams entered Thursday’s action as the league’s three worst offenses by wRC+ at 68, 55, and 53, respectively, each with an above-average strikeout rate. Philadelphia scored three runs on four hits (three for extra bases), the Braves mustered two on five (and one), and the Mets mercifully had a day off. The Twins are your target in the AL.

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We’re learning plenty about MLB in the early going. The Minnesota Twins’ offense is bad. The Atlanta Braves are very bad. The Roto Riteup occasionally has authors working at 3 a.m. And most notably, Yoenis Cespedes is a huge Shinsuke Nakamura fan.

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Not that anyone should need evidence that the pitcher win is a bad stat at this point, but give this a spin: Noah Syndergaard struck out 12 batters Tuesday. He induced 26 swinging strikes on 99 pitches. He induced 10 on just 15 sliders. One of them looked like this:

Syndergaard’s slider is downright funny https://t.co/gPMK7ceUQk pic.twitter.com/WX1ZLHBl55

— Dan Toman (@dantoman) April 13, 2016

(OK, that’s against a pitcher, but you get it.) And still, Syndergaard drew a no-decision, because his team can’t score. Those 12 strikeouts and lone earned run over seven will just have to keep you warm, as will the knowledge that you probably got a top-10 arm at No. 15 on draft day.

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We’re not going to do this again, are we, Justin Verlander? Et tu, David Price? We were hoping for more, Taylor Jungmann. And Yo…OK, we expect this from you, Yovani Gallardo. It wasn’t a sunny day for the pillars of your pitching staff.

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