It was a weird day for baseball. The Diamondbacks mascot lost all self-control, there was closure in the Hunter Pence scooter case, the San Diego Padres signed James Loney to a minor-league deal help their punchless offense, the White Sox are signing Chance the Rapper to help their ailing brand, and John Oliver’s weird costume prank continued to invade Yankee Stadium
It’s taken the whole league less than a week to lose their collective heads. Don’t lose yours.
The San Diego Padres are never, ever going to score. Kenta Maeda has out-produced them on offense this season. Go to sleep, Padres.
We’re not here to talk about the slide rule. I don’t want to talk about Jose Bautista pulling a WWE No Mercy and reaching under the ropes to distract Logan Forsythe. There’s no place for intentionally hitting batters for lighting you up in the Roto Riteup. With apologies to Baron Corbin, this is a Banter-free zone.
And so thankfully, we move on to only the fantasy relevant from Tuesday.
Three games a day prior and two postponements couldn’t stand to slow the more holistic Opening Day on Monday. For all but four teams, baseball is officially back, and 2016 is officially here.
Life is as beautiful as Kevin Kiermaier once again.
We are so close. SO close. Like, two days away. Giddy up.
On the agenda:
1. Billy Hamilton to hit at bottom of the order
2. Pablo Sandoval headed to the bench
3. Masahiro Tanaka ready for opening day
4. Cory Luebke makes the Pirates
5. Hyun Soo Kim refuses minor-league assignment
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Hello, from Sarasota, where the Baltimore Orioles made a bit of news Wednesday but were hardly the newsiest.
On the agenda:
1. Trevor Bauer is headed to the bullpen
2. Roberto Osuna is the Jays’ closer
3. Jose Reyes‘ domestic abuse case to be dropped
4. Andrew Miller has a chip fracture
5. Hyun-Soo Kim headed to the minors…? Miguel Gonzalez released
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We’re really almost there. Opening Day is Sunday. There are a few days left to draft, and then we’ve made it.
On the agenda:
1. Matt Harvey is OK, kind of
2. Can C.C. Sabathia claim a rotation spot?
3. Hyun-Soo Kim headed to the minors
4. Will Smith opts against surgery
5. Last call on Trevor Bauer
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Today’s Roto Riteup comes to you live from Dunedin, where Rotographs was on hand for some fantasy-relevant news on Monday.
On the agenda:
1. Aaron Sanchez wins a starting job
2. Matt Shoemaker does, too
3. Matt Harvey has a mysterious medical issue
4. Nick Swisher got released, bro
5. Freed Dan Straily
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At every level, Preston Tucker has hit.
From winning Freshman Hitter of the Year at the University of Florida to setting school returns in total hits to leading the Houston Astros organization in hits during his first full minor league season to producing over half a rookie season in 2015, Tucker has hit everywhere he’s gone. At no stop in the minor leagues did he produce below-average results at the dish, and he’s consistently – and quickly – adjusted to each new level.
Each season, he’s begun the year repeating his prior level, then advanced. After his successful major-league debut, the pattern calls for Tucker to repeat with the Astros, then ascend to some yet-to-be-seen level beyond MLB, perhaps beyond baseball. But not even Tucker, who’s hit everywhere he’s gone despite middling prospect status, can hit from the bench.
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Spring training is mercifully drawing closer to a conclusion, but it’s just about to pick up for yours truly. I arrive in Sarasota this weekend for a few days, so if you have any must-dos or, more importantly, must-eats in the area, please let me know.
It was a bit of a quiet Wednesday, so I’ll try to be more brief than I was in my RR debut last week. Let’s get this money.
On today’s agenda:
1. Troy Tulowitzki takes one on the hand
2. Drew Pomeranz impresses again
3. So does Tyler Naquin
4. Carl Crawford and Scott Van Slyke to platoon
5. Matt Bush and Justin Masterson